I didn't write about this last year. Potentially because I was actively struggling to repress it somewhere deep into my psyche where it would hopefully just go away and not fester into a mental illness. Schools in Japan have a School Festival every year. My school's is in October. There's no classes for two days and the students put on a sort of talent show. Only it's a mandatory talent show that everyone has to take part in. Whatever. So not the issue.
Last year, I didn't know what to expect. Which is how I was suddenly exposed to an entire class of senior boys stripping down to tighty-whities and doing this dance. All I could think the entire time was "I'm pretty sure we have laws against this in my country." There was also a dance number that included a monk, a flight attendant, a lumberjack, and a horse in a business suit. Also, a group of girls were doing some watered down hip-hop routine to (inexplicably) the Spice Girls. Oh, and then there was the skit where the Power Rangers had toy semi-automatic guns.
Look, it's just a lot to take in all at once culture-wise. And recently I've been hearing the Japanese word for "school festival" creeping into conversations more and more.
Well listen up, Japan. We're not doing this again. I am not joking. The first sign of any jailbait shenanigans and I'm out. If the Power Rangers show up and shoot two people on a date again, I'm out. And most importantly, if you mix hip-hop and the Spice Girls one more time, I'm OUT. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and I flip you the deuces and roll out early on the next train.
More on this story as it unfolds.
P.S. What is with reality TV right now? It's like America has suddenly discovered that New Jersey is a state. Only we're treating it like some fascinating foreign country. Hello, network execs. That's not a foreign language, they just speak English with an ACCENT.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Reading between the lines...and sometimes, just reading the lines themselves
My teachers asked me to help out with an English lesson yesterday that was going to be given to junior high students who were visiting the high school and giving it a test run, so to speak. Because it's the only morsel of work I've been offeren in a couple of weeks, I readily agreed. (Actually, I have to make a presentation for my other school. I'll totally do it later, I promise.) So, I helped out. Did my thing. Spoke some English.
Later, my supervisor told me that he was going to ask the vice principal if I could go home early, since I so kindly helped out with his lesson and because I worked so hard. As if I had generously donated my time for free or something. Or like I was doing something else and he interrupted me. He didn't mean it in a condescending way, but since I've had plenty of time to sit around thinking, I wonder what exactly is going on when they say things like "since you worked so hard today" and in reality I've only done an hour and a half of work.
I mean, is he
(a) Following his own culture, and coming up with some flimsy (but passable) excuse that would let it be "okay" for me to leave early and not sit and suffer with everyone else. Or, is he
(b) Doing what he considers to be sensitive to MY culture by stroking my ego and then letting me leave.
Probably some combination of both, if we're being pragmatic here.
Anyway, the poor teachers today have been dragged to meeting after meeting since the new semester is about to start. One of my English teachers was telling me what all of the meetings were about. My teacher says to me just before leaving for the most current meeting that the next seminar is about mental health and he is currently suffering from a mental health condition called boredom.
I must say that I find it entirely refreshing when Japanese people say how they feel. Being tactful and subtle certainly has it's place (especially here), but hearing a direct expression of inner feelings is as wonderful as a cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer's day.
God, I miss lemonade.
Later, my supervisor told me that he was going to ask the vice principal if I could go home early, since I so kindly helped out with his lesson and because I worked so hard. As if I had generously donated my time for free or something. Or like I was doing something else and he interrupted me. He didn't mean it in a condescending way, but since I've had plenty of time to sit around thinking, I wonder what exactly is going on when they say things like "since you worked so hard today" and in reality I've only done an hour and a half of work.
I mean, is he
(a) Following his own culture, and coming up with some flimsy (but passable) excuse that would let it be "okay" for me to leave early and not sit and suffer with everyone else. Or, is he
(b) Doing what he considers to be sensitive to MY culture by stroking my ego and then letting me leave.
Probably some combination of both, if we're being pragmatic here.
Anyway, the poor teachers today have been dragged to meeting after meeting since the new semester is about to start. One of my English teachers was telling me what all of the meetings were about. My teacher says to me just before leaving for the most current meeting that the next seminar is about mental health and he is currently suffering from a mental health condition called boredom.
I must say that I find it entirely refreshing when Japanese people say how they feel. Being tactful and subtle certainly has it's place (especially here), but hearing a direct expression of inner feelings is as wonderful as a cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer's day.
God, I miss lemonade.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Doing my part to combat the economic crisis
Met the mayor of the city at a train station a few days ago. Told him we needed a Starbucks. Only felt a little dirty.
Also the yen to dollar conversion rate is rocking my socks. Yay for JETs! Sad for Americans...
Also the yen to dollar conversion rate is rocking my socks. Yay for JETs! Sad for Americans...
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Osmosis would be better
Despite the fact that I love learning other languages, and can probably get away with studying less than your average Joe, it still has special little ways of reducing me to tears. Especially Japanese. Never before have I pulled out more of my own hair over a language (figuratively, not literally - that's called trichotillomania, and to my knowledge I don't have that).
I mean, looking back at all of the other times my head has exploded, they seem rather quaint in comparison. Like when I found out they conjugate adjectives. Like we conjugate verbs. Only they're adjectives SO WHY DO THEY NEED A PAST TENSE?? JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE VERBS DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO LET THEM -
Breathing, breathing, breathing. I am centered, I am in my Happy Place. I have accepted the adjectives for who they are in all of their various conjugations. And I can't waste any more grief on them, because I'm much too occupied being miserable over the things I'm currently learning. The new verb conjugations aren't too bad. Confusing, yes, but they are verbs and they are SUPPOSED to be conjugated so I can deal.
But a long time ago, I learned how to give a reason, or state a cause. Meaning, I learned how to say "because". So I have been marching bravely on with my power to make a sentence and then link another sentence using "because". I even learned a couple different ways to say "because" - hoo-RAY for me! Only I have just learned that there is yet another way to say "because" and that the previous ways I had learned are only correct in certain situations. Meaning that I have been saying it WRONG for god knows how long. Sure, I mean, one in every ten conversations were probably correct, but still. Why was this not brought to my attention sooner?? Ho ho! Stupid me, thinking I had learned how to say something, but Japanese sure showed me!
I'm actually starting to avoid reading the footnotes in my textbook, because it's always some horrible little nuance that I thought I understood but really didn't.
I also have to - errr, get to - take a kanji test when my lessons resume. That's a different battle.
And here's some nitty-gritty details for funsies:
Current reading: Stranger in a Strange Land by Heinlein. Interesting overall and I like how he plays with religion, but he has his moments where he's a crotchety, prejudiced old geezer and it can become mildly infuriating.
Next book: Five Odd Honors by the lovely Jane Lindskold, or The Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood
Current watching: Project Runway! The judges need to step up their judging though, and stop sending home the wrong people. No more of this "styling" fooleywang as a reason. Send people home for making ugly-ass clothes, not because they chose the wrong shade of lipstick for an otherwise passable garment. Yeah, I'm looking at you Nina and Kors. If things don't get better I may go so far as to suggest that you're getting too long in the tooth to judge fashion adequately.
Also, Futurama. Yay. Love it.
Future Travel: Hong Kong? Anyone? And Okinawa.
Back to the books for now. Gotta learn how to use "because" again.
I mean, looking back at all of the other times my head has exploded, they seem rather quaint in comparison. Like when I found out they conjugate adjectives. Like we conjugate verbs. Only they're adjectives SO WHY DO THEY NEED A PAST TENSE?? JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE VERBS DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO LET THEM -
Breathing, breathing, breathing. I am centered, I am in my Happy Place. I have accepted the adjectives for who they are in all of their various conjugations. And I can't waste any more grief on them, because I'm much too occupied being miserable over the things I'm currently learning. The new verb conjugations aren't too bad. Confusing, yes, but they are verbs and they are SUPPOSED to be conjugated so I can deal.
But a long time ago, I learned how to give a reason, or state a cause. Meaning, I learned how to say "because". So I have been marching bravely on with my power to make a sentence and then link another sentence using "because". I even learned a couple different ways to say "because" - hoo-RAY for me! Only I have just learned that there is yet another way to say "because" and that the previous ways I had learned are only correct in certain situations. Meaning that I have been saying it WRONG for god knows how long. Sure, I mean, one in every ten conversations were probably correct, but still. Why was this not brought to my attention sooner?? Ho ho! Stupid me, thinking I had learned how to say something, but Japanese sure showed me!
I'm actually starting to avoid reading the footnotes in my textbook, because it's always some horrible little nuance that I thought I understood but really didn't.
I also have to - errr, get to - take a kanji test when my lessons resume. That's a different battle.
And here's some nitty-gritty details for funsies:
Current reading: Stranger in a Strange Land by Heinlein. Interesting overall and I like how he plays with religion, but he has his moments where he's a crotchety, prejudiced old geezer and it can become mildly infuriating.
Next book: Five Odd Honors by the lovely Jane Lindskold, or The Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood
Current watching: Project Runway! The judges need to step up their judging though, and stop sending home the wrong people. No more of this "styling" fooleywang as a reason. Send people home for making ugly-ass clothes, not because they chose the wrong shade of lipstick for an otherwise passable garment. Yeah, I'm looking at you Nina and Kors. If things don't get better I may go so far as to suggest that you're getting too long in the tooth to judge fashion adequately.
Also, Futurama. Yay. Love it.
Future Travel: Hong Kong? Anyone? And Okinawa.
Back to the books for now. Gotta learn how to use "because" again.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Trying to keep it simple
New year, new people, new feeling about the whole experience.
The shan shan festival is underway, and the main parade is mysteriously on a Monday this year. Must remember to bring camera.
One of my favorite cafes is giving free drinks when you order a meal, and I LOVE the coffee there. I like coffee. When did that happen? Oh yeah. Junior year of undergrad, spring finals week.
Really cute university student from Gifu randomly approached me last night to practice his English. Very friendly, very proficient, and out of all the foreigners standing around he picked ME. ME ME ME. Narcissism quota for the weekend: Check!
Looking forward to hanging out with the new JETs some more. Had some lovely karaoke and revelry last night with them. Now I just need a couple people to return from their respective vacations to feel some semblance of normalcy again.
The shan shan festival is underway, and the main parade is mysteriously on a Monday this year. Must remember to bring camera.
One of my favorite cafes is giving free drinks when you order a meal, and I LOVE the coffee there. I like coffee. When did that happen? Oh yeah. Junior year of undergrad, spring finals week.
Really cute university student from Gifu randomly approached me last night to practice his English. Very friendly, very proficient, and out of all the foreigners standing around he picked ME. ME ME ME. Narcissism quota for the weekend: Check!
Looking forward to hanging out with the new JETs some more. Had some lovely karaoke and revelry last night with them. Now I just need a couple people to return from their respective vacations to feel some semblance of normalcy again.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Culture Shock: A Bedtime Story: The Not-So-Convenient Convenience Store
"Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived a handsome prince. This handsome prince was also quite stylish and fond of traveling. And witty. And wise. Okay, okay moving on. The prince had two lovely princess friends who he would often take walks with and have chats with over piping hot cups of hot chocolate spiked with rum. Their banter was unrivaled throughout the kingdom, and they often introduced their other noble friends to the delicious wonders of hot chocolate and rum. Because they are great friends like that.
But this story digresseth.
It was over one of these incredibly clever banter sessions that Princess Lily The Earth Child slipped the idea of going to the larger nearby kingdom of Big Hill to see a famous performing Lady. This Lady's shows were known throughout the land to be the most spectacularly outrageous events, and everybody who was anybody would be in attendance. It had been suspected that this Lady was also a sorceress of unnatural power, as frequently indicated by her attire and penchant for weaving spells by speaking in tongues, "rah-rah ah ah ahhh, roma ro-MA MA, gaga OH LA LA." The effect of these words was often to roll around in the helpless victim's head unceasingly for days on end until they drove him mad I WANT YOUR LOVE AND I WANT YOUR REVENGE YOU AND MEEE COULD WRITE A BA-
Ahem.
Naturally the prince and the other princess were immediately intrigued, and began to concoct a scheme that would allow them access to this show of wonderment. After a bit of discussion (and an exchange of witticisms too profound to record), it was decided that traveling to the kingdom of Big Hill was inconvenient, as the prince and princesses would need to request leave from the kings and queens that ruled their lives five days a week. But getting invitations was tricky business indeed. Luckily, the handsome, clever, totally-undeserving-of-any-poor-luck-that-may-occur-later-in-this-story prince had a friend that was also a handsome prince in a small kingdom far, far, far in the icy North who had obtained one of the coveted invitations. So the prince wrote that handsome prince a letter requesting any information about acquiring an invitation for himself and his princess friends. That handsome and envy-inspiring prince generously sent scrolls of valuable information, but there was a small catch - a puzzle that needed solving. The scrolls were written in an ancient language composed almost entirely of symbols and pictograms, and only a scholar of that ancient language could have hoped to understand the information contained within. The Prince in the North was indeed a scholar of that tongue, unfortunately our fair heroes were not.
So, the prince and princesses used their cunning to unlock the hidden meaning of the scrolls. Because they could not hope to understand the innate meaning of the symbols, they spent an entire morning using their magics to change the symbols into words they could read and understand. This method was beguiling at best, for they learned that the Lady Sorceress was also stopping in ANOTHER kingdom. The kingdom of Horizon Beach. The kingdom of Horizon Beach was farther, but much more glamorous, and would not require requesting permission to leave the tiny kingdom the prince and princesses lived in. According to the scrolls, on a specific day at a specific time, if the prince and princesses presented themselves before a Shrine of Convenience (at any of several conveniently located marketplaces) and donated a specific amount of gold and jewels to the Gods, they would be rewarded with invitations.
The Scarlet Princess Pauline had acquired much expertise with these Shrines, and so it was she who trained her other two friends in the arts of their use over and over before going on the Quest for the Invitations. And so it was, on the specified day, two minutes BEFORE the specified time in the morning ON A SUNDAY GODDAMMIT, that the prince and two princesses appeared before the Shrine of Convenience at the predetermined marketplace, Lawson Station. At the specified time, the Shrine of Convenience began to glow and rearrange itself into the familiar puzzle sequence that our three heroes had trained themselves to overcome. Each of them remembered a vital step of the puzzle and quickly had the Shrine glowing with the Lady Sorceress' name. Just as they were about to make their offering to the Gods the Shrine rearranged the Lady's name and displayed a message written in the ancient tongue of symbols and pictographs.
Not having the time or patience to work on the new message, they summoned a shopkeeper and ordered them to explain the Shrine's unexpected message. After a swift glance, the shopkeeper politely explained that the Shrine was informing the nobles that all of the Lady's invitations had been given out already. There were none to be had anymore. The prince was paralyzed with disbelief, the Scarlet Princess Pauline was giving the Shrine the stink-eye, but it was Princess Lily the Earth Child who rallied her friends and led them on a quest to other nearby Shrines at other nearby market places, Family Mart and Popura respectively.
Two more times they solved the Shrines' puzzles, and two more times they were confronted with the same fateful message. The invitations were all gone.
In a last desperate bid for what they wanted, they each tried one last tactic. The prince and the Scarlet Princess researched much more deeply into the meaning of the scrolls, while Princess Lily sent an urgent message to a friend living in a kingdom near to Horizon Beach. All ended with the same message as before: no more invitations. What was more was that they discovered that what they should have done was contract with the marketplace through bribery LIKE EVERYONE ELSE APPARENTLY and bid for the invitations during pre-sale. Because all of the invitations had been dispersed during pre-sale and the whole idea of "general admission" was just a formality used to appease the Shrines and confuse foreigners APPARENTLY.
So, the enraged prince and princesses amassed their armies, rode each to one of the shrines and smashed them to bits and then fired the remains from a CANON shaped like GODZILLA all the way to OKINAWA where they would be recovered, lovingly cleaned, and then melted into SCRAP for the fisherman's CHUNDER-BUCKETS THAT WILL SHOW THEM, WON'T IT??
And the prince and princesses continued to glare at the spot where the shrines once stood in the marketplaces angrily ever after.
The End."
That day will forever be termed The Great Gaga Travesty of 2010. Take note, People of Earth. This was supposed to be mildly cathartic, but we'll see if the rage subsides or not.
Okay, so here's the important stuff going on with me, in order of randomly:
Books - Just finished reading The Penelopeid by Margaret Atwood. Will probably soon start Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land next.
Music - Currently obsessed with the Glee soundtrack. Just got the Glee soundtrack NUMBER TWO from my family back home. They love me. Songs I keep replaying over and over on my iPizzle include "Kings and Queens" from the new 30 Seconds to Mars album, "Don't Stop Believin'" from the first Glee soundtrack, "You Can't Always Get What You Want" from the second Glee soundtrack, "Dance in the Dark" by La Gaga, and "Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz.
TV, Movies - Just watched The Princess and the Frog. Cute, and yay for multi-racial princesses (it's ABOUT TIME Disney!), but I feel like Disney stories are better than that. Used to be better than that? This one was a little blah with some blah flakes sprinkled on top for added meh flavor. And they had such a cool looking villain too! Too bad he didn't have more character development.
TV is bumpin'. Lily and I have almost wrapped up Eastwick (it's almost worth watching it to see how bad the writing became), and started watching the new season of Project Runway. I have undertaken the massively enjoyable task of watching every episode of How I Met Your Mother from the beginning WHAT WHAT. I have been putting off watching any more Nurse Jackie for one reason or another (read: How I Met Your Mother). And I somehow keep forgetting that my computer froze halfway through the first episode of the new season of The Real Housewives of Orange County (which is probably over by now), so I'll never get to see one of their houses get repossessed by the bank at this rate. Also, WHY ISN'T THERE MORE GLEE ALREADY?? THIS IS AMERICA AND I DEMAND MY INSTANT GRATIFICATION FOR NOTHING IN RETURN.
Health - My throat has recently gotten scratchy, magically, just today. I have been taking the American Halls cough drops my family had the foresight to send me. How could they have possibly known I would need them??
Home - I'm in a housewares phase. I need to upgrade the furnishings around here, and clean out some of the old junk that was left for me. Just got a rug. I still want new curtains, another floor chair, a toilet paper roll holder, and to get rid of this space-consuming dining room table.
Current phrase I'm trying to make happen - "chunder-bucket". See: the Sleep Talkin' Man blog. Priceless gems, right there.
Current wishes - to not be getting sick, learning Japanese via osmosis, travel agents that call you back when they say they will, lasagna
Current annoyances - see the above cathartic fairy tale; junior high girls who stare and giggle on the train; junior high boys who quickly blurt "HELLO. MY NAME IS [Blabbitybloo]." and then run away on the train; rules that regulate when the heat can and can't be turned on in the staff room at school. Here's a rule for ya: when it's COLD, turn on the damn HEAT.
Current blessings - a national holiday tomorrow which means a free day off of work, my thick comforter which is SO SOFT, green tea flavored chocolate
Current goals - go rent a suitable DVD to watch in class on Friday, do a load of laundry, get a haircut this weekend (my girl, Yukari, is a fan of my curly hair and she's having me grow it out so she can style it a little long and a little crazy. we'll see what happens...)
Hokaaaay, that's all for now. I'm gonna go nurse this here throat with medicine and my lovely comforter. Goodnight everyone! Sweet dreams!
But this story digresseth.
It was over one of these incredibly clever banter sessions that Princess Lily The Earth Child slipped the idea of going to the larger nearby kingdom of Big Hill to see a famous performing Lady. This Lady's shows were known throughout the land to be the most spectacularly outrageous events, and everybody who was anybody would be in attendance. It had been suspected that this Lady was also a sorceress of unnatural power, as frequently indicated by her attire and penchant for weaving spells by speaking in tongues, "rah-rah ah ah ahhh, roma ro-MA MA, gaga OH LA LA." The effect of these words was often to roll around in the helpless victim's head unceasingly for days on end until they drove him mad I WANT YOUR LOVE AND I WANT YOUR REVENGE YOU AND MEEE COULD WRITE A BA-
Ahem.
Naturally the prince and the other princess were immediately intrigued, and began to concoct a scheme that would allow them access to this show of wonderment. After a bit of discussion (and an exchange of witticisms too profound to record), it was decided that traveling to the kingdom of Big Hill was inconvenient, as the prince and princesses would need to request leave from the kings and queens that ruled their lives five days a week. But getting invitations was tricky business indeed. Luckily, the handsome, clever, totally-undeserving-of-any-poor-luck-that-may-occur-later-in-this-story prince had a friend that was also a handsome prince in a small kingdom far, far, far in the icy North who had obtained one of the coveted invitations. So the prince wrote that handsome prince a letter requesting any information about acquiring an invitation for himself and his princess friends. That handsome and envy-inspiring prince generously sent scrolls of valuable information, but there was a small catch - a puzzle that needed solving. The scrolls were written in an ancient language composed almost entirely of symbols and pictograms, and only a scholar of that ancient language could have hoped to understand the information contained within. The Prince in the North was indeed a scholar of that tongue, unfortunately our fair heroes were not.
So, the prince and princesses used their cunning to unlock the hidden meaning of the scrolls. Because they could not hope to understand the innate meaning of the symbols, they spent an entire morning using their magics to change the symbols into words they could read and understand. This method was beguiling at best, for they learned that the Lady Sorceress was also stopping in ANOTHER kingdom. The kingdom of Horizon Beach. The kingdom of Horizon Beach was farther, but much more glamorous, and would not require requesting permission to leave the tiny kingdom the prince and princesses lived in. According to the scrolls, on a specific day at a specific time, if the prince and princesses presented themselves before a Shrine of Convenience (at any of several conveniently located marketplaces) and donated a specific amount of gold and jewels to the Gods, they would be rewarded with invitations.
The Scarlet Princess Pauline had acquired much expertise with these Shrines, and so it was she who trained her other two friends in the arts of their use over and over before going on the Quest for the Invitations. And so it was, on the specified day, two minutes BEFORE the specified time in the morning ON A SUNDAY GODDAMMIT, that the prince and two princesses appeared before the Shrine of Convenience at the predetermined marketplace, Lawson Station. At the specified time, the Shrine of Convenience began to glow and rearrange itself into the familiar puzzle sequence that our three heroes had trained themselves to overcome. Each of them remembered a vital step of the puzzle and quickly had the Shrine glowing with the Lady Sorceress' name. Just as they were about to make their offering to the Gods the Shrine rearranged the Lady's name and displayed a message written in the ancient tongue of symbols and pictographs.
Not having the time or patience to work on the new message, they summoned a shopkeeper and ordered them to explain the Shrine's unexpected message. After a swift glance, the shopkeeper politely explained that the Shrine was informing the nobles that all of the Lady's invitations had been given out already. There were none to be had anymore. The prince was paralyzed with disbelief, the Scarlet Princess Pauline was giving the Shrine the stink-eye, but it was Princess Lily the Earth Child who rallied her friends and led them on a quest to other nearby Shrines at other nearby market places, Family Mart and Popura respectively.
Two more times they solved the Shrines' puzzles, and two more times they were confronted with the same fateful message. The invitations were all gone.
In a last desperate bid for what they wanted, they each tried one last tactic. The prince and the Scarlet Princess researched much more deeply into the meaning of the scrolls, while Princess Lily sent an urgent message to a friend living in a kingdom near to Horizon Beach. All ended with the same message as before: no more invitations. What was more was that they discovered that what they should have done was contract with the marketplace through bribery LIKE EVERYONE ELSE APPARENTLY and bid for the invitations during pre-sale. Because all of the invitations had been dispersed during pre-sale and the whole idea of "general admission" was just a formality used to appease the Shrines and confuse foreigners APPARENTLY.
So, the enraged prince and princesses amassed their armies, rode each to one of the shrines and smashed them to bits and then fired the remains from a CANON shaped like GODZILLA all the way to OKINAWA where they would be recovered, lovingly cleaned, and then melted into SCRAP for the fisherman's CHUNDER-BUCKETS THAT WILL SHOW THEM, WON'T IT??
And the prince and princesses continued to glare at the spot where the shrines once stood in the marketplaces angrily ever after.
The End."
That day will forever be termed The Great Gaga Travesty of 2010. Take note, People of Earth. This was supposed to be mildly cathartic, but we'll see if the rage subsides or not.
Okay, so here's the important stuff going on with me, in order of randomly:
Books - Just finished reading The Penelopeid by Margaret Atwood. Will probably soon start Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land next.
Music - Currently obsessed with the Glee soundtrack. Just got the Glee soundtrack NUMBER TWO from my family back home. They love me. Songs I keep replaying over and over on my iPizzle include "Kings and Queens" from the new 30 Seconds to Mars album, "Don't Stop Believin'" from the first Glee soundtrack, "You Can't Always Get What You Want" from the second Glee soundtrack, "Dance in the Dark" by La Gaga, and "Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz.
TV, Movies - Just watched The Princess and the Frog. Cute, and yay for multi-racial princesses (it's ABOUT TIME Disney!), but I feel like Disney stories are better than that. Used to be better than that? This one was a little blah with some blah flakes sprinkled on top for added meh flavor. And they had such a cool looking villain too! Too bad he didn't have more character development.
TV is bumpin'. Lily and I have almost wrapped up Eastwick (it's almost worth watching it to see how bad the writing became), and started watching the new season of Project Runway. I have undertaken the massively enjoyable task of watching every episode of How I Met Your Mother from the beginning WHAT WHAT. I have been putting off watching any more Nurse Jackie for one reason or another (read: How I Met Your Mother). And I somehow keep forgetting that my computer froze halfway through the first episode of the new season of The Real Housewives of Orange County (which is probably over by now), so I'll never get to see one of their houses get repossessed by the bank at this rate. Also, WHY ISN'T THERE MORE GLEE ALREADY?? THIS IS AMERICA AND I DEMAND MY INSTANT GRATIFICATION FOR NOTHING IN RETURN.
Health - My throat has recently gotten scratchy, magically, just today. I have been taking the American Halls cough drops my family had the foresight to send me. How could they have possibly known I would need them??
Home - I'm in a housewares phase. I need to upgrade the furnishings around here, and clean out some of the old junk that was left for me. Just got a rug. I still want new curtains, another floor chair, a toilet paper roll holder, and to get rid of this space-consuming dining room table.
Current phrase I'm trying to make happen - "chunder-bucket". See: the Sleep Talkin' Man blog. Priceless gems, right there.
Current wishes - to not be getting sick, learning Japanese via osmosis, travel agents that call you back when they say they will, lasagna
Current annoyances - see the above cathartic fairy tale; junior high girls who stare and giggle on the train; junior high boys who quickly blurt "HELLO. MY NAME IS [Blabbitybloo]." and then run away on the train; rules that regulate when the heat can and can't be turned on in the staff room at school. Here's a rule for ya: when it's COLD, turn on the damn HEAT.
Current blessings - a national holiday tomorrow which means a free day off of work, my thick comforter which is SO SOFT, green tea flavored chocolate
Current goals - go rent a suitable DVD to watch in class on Friday, do a load of laundry, get a haircut this weekend (my girl, Yukari, is a fan of my curly hair and she's having me grow it out so she can style it a little long and a little crazy. we'll see what happens...)
Hokaaaay, that's all for now. I'm gonna go nurse this here throat with medicine and my lovely comforter. Goodnight everyone! Sweet dreams!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Winter in Japan or The Dangers of Peeing
So it seems that I do much better with posts that contain only words, as opposed to words and pictures. Uploading pictures requires time, which I occaisionally have, and patience, which I have a very limited supply of that needs to be conserved for really important tasks such as lesson planning or figuring out where the hell the lightbulbs are kept in the supermarket. At any rate, I hope that for now, my words will suffice.
Yes, so, lightbulbs. I have had three burn out on me since moving here. The first happened the day I moved in to my apartment, but my predecessor was there and had one lightbulb left from his time there so he saved the day with that one. The second one to go was the one in my entryway just as I enter the apartment. I didn't realize how pivotal that one was until I arrived home one night and nearly killed myself tripping over shoes and my own two feet in the dark. Traitorous feet. They had probably been planning this all along, and even arranged for the lightbulb to burn out. No doubt my shoes were in on it too - I mean, they spend all day together, who knows what kind of scheming was going on down there. Anyway, I took myself (feet and shoes included, despite their treachery) to the supermarket.
Now, it required several trips to the supermarket before I was actually successful in buying lightbulbs, because for one reason or another I was always rushed while looking (most likely because I was running late for some event or appointment). The second time I tried, I thought it would be the sensible thing to just ask where they were. Then, I remembered I would have to ask in Japanese. So I stopped and began constructing the sentence in my head, and THEN realized that I didn't know the word for "lightbulb". My whole plan, which I had dubbed "Plan B: Ask a Sales Associate" (because "Plan A: Look For Lightbulbs Myself" had failed last time), sort of hinged on the word "lightbulbs". The next best thing would be to say "Where are the..." and then gesture for what I wanted. But, seriously. Can you imagine gesturing a LIGHTBULB? I had a brief flash of the scene I would create in the middle of the supermarket - it started with the pain of having to gesture wildly to a poor Japanese worker as they looked at me helplessly, and ended with the frustration of stalking off after being unable to communicate effectively leaving the Japanese worker with the reaffirmation that foreigners were still crazy. I wasn't in the mood to cause that kind of confusion. So, I fell back on good ole Plan A, and just looked some more. I did eventually find the lightbulbs, and replace my burned out ones. That's pretty much all there is to this story.
This entry is not supposed to be about lightbulbs. Okay, let me attempt to wrangle this runaway train of thought and put it back on track. Here we go.
It's getting cold! People keep saying that all the inherent moisture in the air makes the chill worse, and I am really inclined to believe it. Scratch that, I do believe it. None of the schools here have centralized heating - or rather, none of the buildings in general. Each room just has an AC/heating unit, but they don't like to turn them on because it's "very expensive". Also, I think there's some sort of Tottori-wide rule (Japan-wide rule?) that the heaters don't get turned on until December. This makes for some very cold schools. The hallways between rooms are the exact same temperature as outside, so yeah. Ugh. Doors are kept closed to hold in heat, and the only heat that's actually being produced is body heat. So I've taken to wearing three or four layers to school in order to feel normal (other JETs are boasting five to six layers, because their schools keep the windows open to "let the flu out" and shit like that - that's a whole other story, we're not even going there today). Well, I had been doing really well warmth-wise. I hadn't felt like my schools were as frigid as other JETs were telling me theirs were, and my schools' administration had enough sense to keep the windows closed. Thank Buddha. Or the kami or whoever deserves the credit for that one.
Well, the weather got colder and didn't warn me beforehand, so I continued taking the same precautions against the chill as I had been. I learned how much colder it had gotten when my hands got cold. My hands are always the first thing to go in the cold, but I had not been wearing gloves because it hadn't been quite cold enough. Well, there must have been a big drop because my hands went from cold to colder to frozen to I-have-lost-all-feeling in the span of three hours. Not fun. I was even shivering. Well, as luck would have it, my high school has a vending machine that vends hot drinks! That's the good news. The bad news is that this magnificent wellspring of heated beverages was on the opposite side of the school. Of course. Meaning, I would have to trek through the glacial hallways (aka the Perilous Fortress of Ice and Misery - PFIM for short) there and back if I wanted anything. Armed only with my two layers of clothing I went out on a quest for hot tea. Now, I didn't really walk there because that would take too long, and it wasn't quite a run. I would say that it was more of a scurry that I did to the vending machine. At any rate, I slammed my money in and got a thing of hot tea. It was SO WARM. My hands tingled with happiness (or was that the tingle of returning blood-flow?) as I clutched it on my scurry back to the staff room.
And I drank that sucker. I had to do it slow enough that I could spread the heat out, and fast enough that it wouldn't get cold. A delicate balancing act. My hands were sad, because as soon as I started drinking the lovely tea all the heat disappeared, and thus my hands returned to their frozen state.
I dunno about you guys, but being cold makes me have to go pee much more frequently than when I'm warm. Such an unfortunate thing. I tried to fight it. Going to the bathroom meant leaving the "warmth" of the staff room yet again. Note the sarcastic quotemarks. I sat there trying to occupy my thoughts with anything other than relieving myself. Food. Ponies. Hell I even thought about working. But that god-forsaken cold just kept seeping in and making me need to peeeeeeee. I wondered how long it would take to order a sherpa. Did they have sherpas on amazon.com and were there any decent COD options? Even if there were, I would have to then provide them with the address of my school or directions on how to get all the way out to the boondocks where I was. All in Japanese. No, a sherpa was definitely out of the question. I would just have to brave the PFIM myself. AGAIN. By that time I was practically squirming in my seat, so I ducked out of the staff room and got my scurry on all the way down to the teachers' bathrooms, which are only minutely closer than the vending maching I would just like to add.
The bathrooms were, impossibly, colder than the hallways. The window, which stood open, caused me to grimace, and the sound of the torrential rain hitting the asphalt outside made me have to pee even more. I bolted over to a urinal and undid my pants.
Imagine my surprise when I grabbed my junk with the frozen block of ice that was once my hand. Imagine me hitting my head on the ceiling as I jumped six feet in the air out of shock. In the back of my throat, I sort of choked and gurgled at the same time time. I churgled. It felt like Frosty the Snowman was taking a bite out of my crotch, and my only saving grace was that there were no other teachers in the bathroom to witness this whole debacle. It really hadn't occurred to me that my ice-cold hand would adversely affect my whole bathroom experience, probably because I had lost all feeling in it and thus any thoughts of it evaporated from my mind. Out of nerve-endings out of mind, as the old saying goes.
So, much like my feet, my hands had tried to kill me. My appendages were rebelling, and what's worse is that they were being terribly clever about it. Well, I resolved right then and there to fix my hands good and proper. I finished going to the bathroom, and then just popped around the corner to the vending machine since it was so close. I bought another drink, which gave me something warm to clutch as I did my little scurry back to the staff room. And then I sat there and got my hands good and hot. And also warmed up my insides by drinking more tea. And several minutes later when it was freezing ass cold again, I had to pee. DAMMIT!
Really, I guess I should have titled this entry "The Vicious Cycle of Peeing" because that's what it turned into. I did start wearing gloves for awhile, but as soon as I did that the weather got warmer again and the frostbite abated. There's also these lovely little pouches that they sell in convenience stores here that you hold in your hands. And you crunch them around a bit, and they start to emit heat. I like them, so I'm going to put a ring on it. They can go for, like, 24 hours, so I'll be doing my part to stimulate the Japanese economy by buying mountains of them for when winter hits for realsies.
That's all I got for now. I know I didn't really talk about anything, but this one goes down in my "lessons learned" file. The last thing I'll leave you with is the list of American TV shows I've been trying to keep up with thanks to the magic of the interweb. So, here we go:
1) The Amazing Race
2) Project Runway (I still have to watch the last episode >.O)
3) Nurse Jackie
4) Glee
5) Dollhouse
6) Eastwick - I know it got axed and it's not THAT great of a show, but they have some fun one-liners every episode. Plus, once my new glasses come in I'll be able to pull them down over the bridge of my nose and attempt to hypnotize people just like Lindsay Price.
Oh, right! I bought new glasses! They cost half as much as my last pair, and I'll just leave it at that. It was super exciting because I got through the vision test and the whole process of buying them by myself IN JAPANESE. Yeah, I didn't understand 50% of what the guy said but by the end of it I came away with a receipt for the correct amount and a date for when I could pick them up. Plus, they sent their only female employee over to me with a lovely cup of coffee on a cute little tray for me to drink while I filled out paperwork. Too bad that kind of gesture is totally lost on me, but the coffee was nice. So I am super excited for new glasses.
Oh, and Thanksgiving! Happy Thanksgiving! It doesn't really exist here in Japan. I missed being surrounded by family and food. But I organized a small group of us to go out to dinner together last night, and that was good - we had some baked potatoes with butter, and instead of turkey we substituted fried chicken. Also there was some cheese-covered mushroom deliciousness going around, french fries, and some shellfish salad. And then we went and got some traditional Thanksgiving donuts for dessert. That's how we roll. We even introduced our South African friend to her first Thanksgiving (even though it wasnt an entirely legitimate Thanksgiving dinner). So, even though I couldn't be with family, I was surrounded by friends and that's all I could have asked for.
Alright, I am really wrapping up now. If I don't stop rambling and publish this entry soon it will never see the light of day. Over and out!
Yes, so, lightbulbs. I have had three burn out on me since moving here. The first happened the day I moved in to my apartment, but my predecessor was there and had one lightbulb left from his time there so he saved the day with that one. The second one to go was the one in my entryway just as I enter the apartment. I didn't realize how pivotal that one was until I arrived home one night and nearly killed myself tripping over shoes and my own two feet in the dark. Traitorous feet. They had probably been planning this all along, and even arranged for the lightbulb to burn out. No doubt my shoes were in on it too - I mean, they spend all day together, who knows what kind of scheming was going on down there. Anyway, I took myself (feet and shoes included, despite their treachery) to the supermarket.
Now, it required several trips to the supermarket before I was actually successful in buying lightbulbs, because for one reason or another I was always rushed while looking (most likely because I was running late for some event or appointment). The second time I tried, I thought it would be the sensible thing to just ask where they were. Then, I remembered I would have to ask in Japanese. So I stopped and began constructing the sentence in my head, and THEN realized that I didn't know the word for "lightbulb". My whole plan, which I had dubbed "Plan B: Ask a Sales Associate" (because "Plan A: Look For Lightbulbs Myself" had failed last time), sort of hinged on the word "lightbulbs". The next best thing would be to say "Where are the..." and then gesture for what I wanted. But, seriously. Can you imagine gesturing a LIGHTBULB? I had a brief flash of the scene I would create in the middle of the supermarket - it started with the pain of having to gesture wildly to a poor Japanese worker as they looked at me helplessly, and ended with the frustration of stalking off after being unable to communicate effectively leaving the Japanese worker with the reaffirmation that foreigners were still crazy. I wasn't in the mood to cause that kind of confusion. So, I fell back on good ole Plan A, and just looked some more. I did eventually find the lightbulbs, and replace my burned out ones. That's pretty much all there is to this story.
This entry is not supposed to be about lightbulbs. Okay, let me attempt to wrangle this runaway train of thought and put it back on track. Here we go.
It's getting cold! People keep saying that all the inherent moisture in the air makes the chill worse, and I am really inclined to believe it. Scratch that, I do believe it. None of the schools here have centralized heating - or rather, none of the buildings in general. Each room just has an AC/heating unit, but they don't like to turn them on because it's "very expensive". Also, I think there's some sort of Tottori-wide rule (Japan-wide rule?) that the heaters don't get turned on until December. This makes for some very cold schools. The hallways between rooms are the exact same temperature as outside, so yeah. Ugh. Doors are kept closed to hold in heat, and the only heat that's actually being produced is body heat. So I've taken to wearing three or four layers to school in order to feel normal (other JETs are boasting five to six layers, because their schools keep the windows open to "let the flu out" and shit like that - that's a whole other story, we're not even going there today). Well, I had been doing really well warmth-wise. I hadn't felt like my schools were as frigid as other JETs were telling me theirs were, and my schools' administration had enough sense to keep the windows closed. Thank Buddha. Or the kami or whoever deserves the credit for that one.
Well, the weather got colder and didn't warn me beforehand, so I continued taking the same precautions against the chill as I had been. I learned how much colder it had gotten when my hands got cold. My hands are always the first thing to go in the cold, but I had not been wearing gloves because it hadn't been quite cold enough. Well, there must have been a big drop because my hands went from cold to colder to frozen to I-have-lost-all-feeling in the span of three hours. Not fun. I was even shivering. Well, as luck would have it, my high school has a vending machine that vends hot drinks! That's the good news. The bad news is that this magnificent wellspring of heated beverages was on the opposite side of the school. Of course. Meaning, I would have to trek through the glacial hallways (aka the Perilous Fortress of Ice and Misery - PFIM for short) there and back if I wanted anything. Armed only with my two layers of clothing I went out on a quest for hot tea. Now, I didn't really walk there because that would take too long, and it wasn't quite a run. I would say that it was more of a scurry that I did to the vending machine. At any rate, I slammed my money in and got a thing of hot tea. It was SO WARM. My hands tingled with happiness (or was that the tingle of returning blood-flow?) as I clutched it on my scurry back to the staff room.
And I drank that sucker. I had to do it slow enough that I could spread the heat out, and fast enough that it wouldn't get cold. A delicate balancing act. My hands were sad, because as soon as I started drinking the lovely tea all the heat disappeared, and thus my hands returned to their frozen state.
I dunno about you guys, but being cold makes me have to go pee much more frequently than when I'm warm. Such an unfortunate thing. I tried to fight it. Going to the bathroom meant leaving the "warmth" of the staff room yet again. Note the sarcastic quotemarks. I sat there trying to occupy my thoughts with anything other than relieving myself. Food. Ponies. Hell I even thought about working. But that god-forsaken cold just kept seeping in and making me need to peeeeeeee. I wondered how long it would take to order a sherpa. Did they have sherpas on amazon.com and were there any decent COD options? Even if there were, I would have to then provide them with the address of my school or directions on how to get all the way out to the boondocks where I was. All in Japanese. No, a sherpa was definitely out of the question. I would just have to brave the PFIM myself. AGAIN. By that time I was practically squirming in my seat, so I ducked out of the staff room and got my scurry on all the way down to the teachers' bathrooms, which are only minutely closer than the vending maching I would just like to add.
The bathrooms were, impossibly, colder than the hallways. The window, which stood open, caused me to grimace, and the sound of the torrential rain hitting the asphalt outside made me have to pee even more. I bolted over to a urinal and undid my pants.
Imagine my surprise when I grabbed my junk with the frozen block of ice that was once my hand. Imagine me hitting my head on the ceiling as I jumped six feet in the air out of shock. In the back of my throat, I sort of choked and gurgled at the same time time. I churgled. It felt like Frosty the Snowman was taking a bite out of my crotch, and my only saving grace was that there were no other teachers in the bathroom to witness this whole debacle. It really hadn't occurred to me that my ice-cold hand would adversely affect my whole bathroom experience, probably because I had lost all feeling in it and thus any thoughts of it evaporated from my mind. Out of nerve-endings out of mind, as the old saying goes.
So, much like my feet, my hands had tried to kill me. My appendages were rebelling, and what's worse is that they were being terribly clever about it. Well, I resolved right then and there to fix my hands good and proper. I finished going to the bathroom, and then just popped around the corner to the vending machine since it was so close. I bought another drink, which gave me something warm to clutch as I did my little scurry back to the staff room. And then I sat there and got my hands good and hot. And also warmed up my insides by drinking more tea. And several minutes later when it was freezing ass cold again, I had to pee. DAMMIT!
Really, I guess I should have titled this entry "The Vicious Cycle of Peeing" because that's what it turned into. I did start wearing gloves for awhile, but as soon as I did that the weather got warmer again and the frostbite abated. There's also these lovely little pouches that they sell in convenience stores here that you hold in your hands. And you crunch them around a bit, and they start to emit heat. I like them, so I'm going to put a ring on it. They can go for, like, 24 hours, so I'll be doing my part to stimulate the Japanese economy by buying mountains of them for when winter hits for realsies.
That's all I got for now. I know I didn't really talk about anything, but this one goes down in my "lessons learned" file. The last thing I'll leave you with is the list of American TV shows I've been trying to keep up with thanks to the magic of the interweb. So, here we go:
1) The Amazing Race
2) Project Runway (I still have to watch the last episode >.O)
3) Nurse Jackie
4) Glee
5) Dollhouse
6) Eastwick - I know it got axed and it's not THAT great of a show, but they have some fun one-liners every episode. Plus, once my new glasses come in I'll be able to pull them down over the bridge of my nose and attempt to hypnotize people just like Lindsay Price.
Oh, right! I bought new glasses! They cost half as much as my last pair, and I'll just leave it at that. It was super exciting because I got through the vision test and the whole process of buying them by myself IN JAPANESE. Yeah, I didn't understand 50% of what the guy said but by the end of it I came away with a receipt for the correct amount and a date for when I could pick them up. Plus, they sent their only female employee over to me with a lovely cup of coffee on a cute little tray for me to drink while I filled out paperwork. Too bad that kind of gesture is totally lost on me, but the coffee was nice. So I am super excited for new glasses.
Oh, and Thanksgiving! Happy Thanksgiving! It doesn't really exist here in Japan. I missed being surrounded by family and food. But I organized a small group of us to go out to dinner together last night, and that was good - we had some baked potatoes with butter, and instead of turkey we substituted fried chicken. Also there was some cheese-covered mushroom deliciousness going around, french fries, and some shellfish salad. And then we went and got some traditional Thanksgiving donuts for dessert. That's how we roll. We even introduced our South African friend to her first Thanksgiving (even though it wasnt an entirely legitimate Thanksgiving dinner). So, even though I couldn't be with family, I was surrounded by friends and that's all I could have asked for.
Alright, I am really wrapping up now. If I don't stop rambling and publish this entry soon it will never see the light of day. Over and out!
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