Continuing to Boost the Japanese Economy

Okay, I'm experiencing some mild guilt. I'll totally send some more money back home next time. It's just that, like, when else in my life will I be able to say that I can go to Tokyo for $300 and an hour and a half flight?

Never, right? Good, glad you're with me on this. November is Tokyo weekend. It will have been a year since my last stay in Tokyo. Passing through the airports doesn't count.

AAAHHHH TOKYO!!!!

Also, I climbed a hella high mountain. My legs fell off for days. Here's a couple of pictures:

I communed with nature. Check that off the list.

Is this a trap?

One of my English teachers came up to me just a few minutes ago to confirm lesson plans for our class, and inform me of a slight schedule change. Due to the schedule change, she will be unable to come to class, and therefore would like me to teach the class by myself. This has happened before, and while it is a little nerve-wracking I've gotten by.

Then she says, "I haven't taught them the meaning of the target sentences in Japanese. Is it okay if you do it?"

Sooooo.............ummmm. That's a compliment, right?

Kinda shakin' in my knickers over here.

Rock my Osaka

Just returned to work from a whirlwind three-day weekend in Osaka, and just so y'all know I can in fact shop for three days straight. I know you were worried about that, but it's okay. It all worked out. I was even under budget! (note: setting your budget at a really high number, say for example more than you make in a paycheck, means you are ALWAYS under budget. Everybody wins!)

I went to a concert for a Japanese idol group with tens of thousands of Japanese people, and I was one of three males there. Whatever, those guys are nice looking. And when they first appeared on stage, each of them was wearing a sequined jacket that looked like a cross between a marching band drum major jacket and a pimp coat. They were each wearing a different color coat and the colors represented were red, blue, green, yellow, purple, and pink. Together they made a pretty rainbow, so I feel like I have a shot with at least one of them.

I also went to a small Mexican fiesta that was being put on at the Umeda Sky Building. Turns out there was actually a Michael Jackson Neverland exhibit there too, and people were saying to me "Oh! You must be here to see the Michael Jackson exhibition!" And I was all, "Nope, I'm here for the tacos." Then the sounds of mariachis echoed around the plaza, and I disengaged with "Excuse me, but I think I hear my heritage calling. I'm going to have to take this." There were tacos, and they were goooooood. There were allegedly real Mexicans too, and they were asking confused Japanese people if they wanted "uno taco o dos tacos?" I got all up in that and practically yelled "CATORCE. DAME CATORCE TACOS POR FAVOR!" (excuse the omitted accent marks). The Japanese people gracefully looked away from me and my crazy taco face.

It was a fun weekend, and I was rather surprised to find myself at work this morning. Also, even though there is now occaisionally torrential rain, it's still really hot. The seasons are a bit confused here. We broke the world. :-/

On a happier note, Thursday is another holiday so I have the day off. Thanks, Autumnal Equinox!

Whatever works

I just realized last night that I have inadvertanly memorized all of the train stops between my city and the next city over. Sometimes, I say them in order over and over again as a kind of mantra. I like to think of it as a way to focus my mind, or steady me after a rough day, or even as a charm to improve my luck for a short time. Not sure how it's really working out, but if belief is power...

Tottori
Koyama
Tottoridaigakumae
Suetsune
Hogi
Hamamura
Aoya
Tomari
Matsuzaki
Kurayoshi

P.S. We had a typhoon today. It wasn't bad enough to cancel school. Boooooo.

A smattering of update

I have a feeling that this update will turn out a bit disjointed, and I'm okay with that.

♠ I am still not a morning person. Jetlag is the only way I can make it to work on-time without rushing. Apparently.

♠ I really want a mocha right now. (It's morning-time in Japan, and I'm feeling a bit sluggish)

♠ A friend and I broke up with our Japanese teacher. She raised the cost of our lessons for no particular reason, so we told her we wanted to see other people. She may backpedal and lower the price again, in which case I may consider going back to her.

♠ Following the break-up and because we were irritated at the sudden increase of price, we went in search of other activities to do in our city. Consequently, I will be joining a hip-hop locking class on Sunday evening with my friend and the Chinese ALT that works at my school. Pop, drop, and lock it.

♠ I have a student that I call Hip-hop Boy because he listens to a lot of hip-hop in English. He sometimes shouts out in the middle of class "Put yo hands up!" and other charming things.

♠ Hip-hop Boy is recently mispronouncing many English swear words. I assume he learned them from that American hip-hop the kids are all into these days and he most certainly won't be getting a CD with more hip-hop on it from me sometime later this week. What. Don't look at me like that. Anyway, I made a deal with him that if he got a high score on his next English test in my class, I would teach him the correct pronunciation. Currently, he is walking around saying "You sick!" and "Sick my dick!"

♠ Yesterday, one of my students told me that he was a Viking King. Last Friday, one of my students told me that she is in love with my 50 year old married Japanese English teacher because he looks like Buddha. And I also learned from a couple of the baseball players that you can slangily refer to breasts as "poing!"

♠ Still waiting for that mocha.

Revenge of the School Festival

I didn't write about this last year. Potentially because I was actively struggling to repress it somewhere deep into my psyche where it would hopefully just go away and not fester into a mental illness. Schools in Japan have a School Festival every year. My school's is in October. There's no classes for two days and the students put on a sort of talent show. Only it's a mandatory talent show that everyone has to take part in. Whatever. So not the issue.

Last year, I didn't know what to expect. Which is how I was suddenly exposed to an entire class of senior boys stripping down to tighty-whities and doing this dance. All I could think the entire time was "I'm pretty sure we have laws against this in my country." There was also a dance number that included a monk, a flight attendant, a lumberjack, and a horse in a business suit. Also, a group of girls were doing some watered down hip-hop routine to (inexplicably) the Spice Girls. Oh, and then there was the skit where the Power Rangers had toy semi-automatic guns.

Look, it's just a lot to take in all at once culture-wise. And recently I've been hearing the Japanese word for "school festival" creeping into conversations more and more.

Well listen up, Japan. We're not doing this again. I am not joking. The first sign of any jailbait shenanigans and I'm out. If the Power Rangers show up and shoot two people on a date again, I'm out. And most importantly, if you mix hip-hop and the Spice Girls one more time, I'm OUT. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and I flip you the deuces and roll out early on the next train.

More on this story as it unfolds.

P.S. What is with reality TV right now? It's like America has suddenly discovered that New Jersey is a state. Only we're treating it like some fascinating foreign country. Hello, network execs. That's not a foreign language, they just speak English with an ACCENT.

Reading between the lines...and sometimes, just reading the lines themselves

My teachers asked me to help out with an English lesson yesterday that was going to be given to junior high students who were visiting the high school and giving it a test run, so to speak. Because it's the only morsel of work I've been offeren in a couple of weeks, I readily agreed. (Actually, I have to make a presentation for my other school. I'll totally do it later, I promise.) So, I helped out. Did my thing. Spoke some English.

Later, my supervisor told me that he was going to ask the vice principal if I could go home early, since I so kindly helped out with his lesson and because I worked so hard. As if I had generously donated my time for free or something. Or like I was doing something else and he interrupted me. He didn't mean it in a condescending way, but since I've had plenty of time to sit around thinking, I wonder what exactly is going on when they say things like "since you worked so hard today" and in reality I've only done an hour and a half of work.

I mean, is he
(a) Following his own culture, and coming up with some flimsy (but passable) excuse that would let it be "okay" for me to leave early and not sit and suffer with everyone else. Or, is he
(b) Doing what he considers to be sensitive to MY culture by stroking my ego and then letting me leave.

Probably some combination of both, if we're being pragmatic here.

Anyway, the poor teachers today have been dragged to meeting after meeting since the new semester is about to start. One of my English teachers was telling me what all of the meetings were about. My teacher says to me just before leaving for the most current meeting that the next seminar is about mental health and he is currently suffering from a mental health condition called boredom.

I must say that I find it entirely refreshing when Japanese people say how they feel. Being tactful and subtle certainly has it's place (especially here), but hearing a direct expression of inner feelings is as wonderful as a cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer's day.

God, I miss lemonade.