Hong Kong Phooey or '2011' Rhymes with 'Heaven'

Fellow Earthlings,

You totally need to fly with Singapore Air at least once. Definitely going to recommend that one. Before take-off the stewardesses come around with warm towelettes to wipe your hands, and immediately following take-off they come by with your choice of orange juice, beer, or wine and a bag of crunchy snacks. Then they pass out the menus where you choose which meal you want, and you can drink Singapore Slings(cocktails) the whole way to your destination. No extra charge, this service is included with the flight. The TV allows you to choose which programs you want to watch, and there's a feature where you can build your own music playlist. Artist choices span all genres including Western artists, Japanese pop, Korean pop, Indian pop, and Chinese pop. After your meal they give you Haagen-Dazs. And this is all Economy class treatment. F to the yeah.

Sooo pretty much every day I've been in Singapore, I've gone shopping and gotten a Starbucks/Coffee Bean. Pretty standard for me, boring for you if you know me, we can skip it. It's okay. Unless you feel a particular need to know that I went to three different Top Shop stores in one day OH YES I DID. That place is dangerous, and you should not take your money into that establishment if you have any quaint notions about "saving" it.

Additionally, I have never wanted a piece of gum more in my life than when I'm walking around in Singapore. The irony of this statement is that chewing gum is outlawed in Singapore. Not allowed! So, bringing chewing gum into this country is considered smuggling. Sigh, we always want what we can't have. 

Anyway, I'm off track. My New Year's was epically unexpected. I really had nothing to do with how things panned out per se; only that it was my idea to go to Hong Kong in the first place. Other than that it was out of my hands (and really not as exciting as this little preface would lead you to believe).

My travel buddy, Elle, had a friend living in Hong Kong who we met up with for dinner. She took us to a private kitchen restaurant that specialized in cooking with Sichuan peppers. From what I gather a "private kitchen" is a restaurant with only a few tables/limited seating that you must make a reservation to enter - walk-ins not permitted. There was also a sign as we entered that said "Members Only" but none of us was a Member...well, that we knew of. Whatever. The food itself was quite tasty but they did in fact use a large amount of Sichuan peppers. The only way I can think of to describe the spiciness of the pepper is, like, if the little pepper seeds decided to do a tiny, spicy ballet dance on your tongue. THAT would be what it's like. We literally had heaps of peppers left over from the meal, and I started trying to devise a way to use the remaining bits as an alternative source of energy because otherwise it was just a waste.

Okay so that was dinner and fun. After that we went to meet some of Hong Kong Friend's other friends to go ring in the new year. So we met up with them and went off to a gigantic club with a rockin' DJ and tons of other glamorous people. We toasted with champagne at midnight and danced the night away.

Is what Elle and I had been imagining. Oh, aren't we cute.

Here's what really happened. We took a metro to the end of the line, then got on a double-decker trolley and took that almost to the end of the line, met up with Hong Friend's other friends and then walked for another ten minutes to (drum roll) ... the harbor. One guy was carrying a hot water container, which we thought was strange, so Elle asked him if he was actually carting around a hot water container. He informed us it was full of mulled wine. Hello, new friend!

So we followed them down the road to an area with a wall running along the left side, and then followed them through a break in the wall onto a huge ship dock. We're talking with guard dogs in certain areas, large metal shipping containers, and old wooden palettes piled in places. Elle and I looked around and then proceeded to do the only logical thing: a photo shoot. Duh. Yeah, hopefully I'll be getting copies of those photos soon.

Then we got some mulled wine and tuned into a radio broadcast via tiny, portable stereo provided by Random-We-Just-Met-20-Minutes-Ago #3. That was how we listened to the countdown. I say "listened" in a really loose sense, because the countdown was in Chinese. They could have been listing chemical compounds for all I knew, but all the Chinese-speakers seemed to think the radio was saying numbers so I played along.

-Warning this next part contains a vulgar joke (sorry Mom! Please be assured that I, shockingly, was not the one to make the joke)-

We hit zero and saw, from a distance, one building explode with fireworks. They shot fireworks from the roof, and one of the Hong Kong Friends remarked (with affection) that "awww our building is ejaculating". Now, I didn't notice this until she said it (I don't know HOW I missed it), but here's a picture of the building with fireworks for you. Take a look. It's the big one in the middle (that's what she said).

http://media.monstersandcritics.com/galleries/996207/0121145550085.jpg

Elle and I stuck around for a tiny bit after the display, but then had to make our way back to our hotel all the way across town because we were flying back to Singapore the next day. When we arrived at our gate in the airport the following day, we were just in time to catch the live broadcast from Times Square in New York with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin. Yaaaay. We watched the ball drop and then boarded our flight.

And that's the story of New Year's in Hong Kong. Totally unexpected, but I'm okay with that.

Now to enjoy a couple more days of sun and warmth before heading back to the Japanland (which just got half a meter of snow). Sending you warm thoughts from the equator!   

Unfortunate Adventures in Spelling or Homophones: the Silent Final Exam Killer

Recently there has been no posting by yours truly, and I'm sorry. I may have been dabbling in being emo on and off (gonna blame the weather and holiday season away from home), and when that happens I try really hard not to word vomit it all over my blog. Alternately, during those times when I am not sulking about the drizzling rain and lack of halls-decking, my life is tragically uninteresting. Currently I also have a bunch of free time at work so I figured I was way overdue for writing something.

Right now the high school is having final exams, and I still can't for the life of me figure out why they do the testing now. There's still three weeks of class left, but you know, sure, let's have the final. So usually I have to give a listening test to the students. Pretty straightforward set-up: I read a paragraph and students have to fill in the blanks with the words I used. My sophomores have been working on the three auxiliary verbs "must," "will," and "can." So I made a few sentences that use one of the auxiliary verbs plus another verb, and the students had to write the two verbs in a blank.

Below are some unfortunate wrong responses and homophone issues that I totally did not forsee. First I'll give the sentence with the correct answer in bold and under that I'll provide the students' answers.

(The topic was, loosely, 'school rules.')
"Students can drive their own car to school."
"Students can july their own car to school." (I love summer.)
"Students con drive their own car to school." (Is it still a con if it's their own car to begin with? Or is it the opposite of pro driving?)

"They must eat lunch outside the classroom."
"They muse eat lunch outside the classroom." (Noooo, wait! I need that muse for inspiration later!!)
"They must lathi lunch outside the classroom." (Okay, really. What even happened here?)

(The topic was 'taking a trip.')
"I can see Buckingham Palace."
"I can she Buckingham Palace." (This is why we shouldn't use katakana to teach pronunciation.)

"We will enjoy our trip."
"We will enjoin our trip." (Like...surgery?)
"We wee enjoy our trip." (Not even correct in Ireland.)

(The topic was pretending our school was a wizard school.)
"Teachers will wear robes."
"Teachers will where robes." (Oooo, so close.)
"Teachers will were robes." (Pronounce it like the "were" in "werewolf" and you can see where the slip-up occurred.)
"Teachers will way robes." (I'm seeing a trend in which students don't know how to spell a word and just add a "y" to the end in the hopes that it's correct.)

"Everyone can use magic."
"Everyone can you magic." (The number of students that made this mistake makes me feel bad for putting it on their test.)
"Everyone can you's magic." (Almost clever.)

"Students can fly on brooms."
"Students can fry on brooms." (That is pretty magical in my opinion.)
"Students can fay on brooms." (Oiiiii.)
"Students can flay on brooms." (Just one little letter changes Harry Potter into Hannibal Lecter.)

Clearly I need to work harder here. I might suggest instituting spelling tests. I might just leave it alone, because this makes the whole grading process much more enjoyable for me. Poor students, they don't even know what they're doing to those brooms.

Continuing to Boost the Japanese Economy

Okay, I'm experiencing some mild guilt. I'll totally send some more money back home next time. It's just that, like, when else in my life will I be able to say that I can go to Tokyo for $300 and an hour and a half flight?

Never, right? Good, glad you're with me on this. November is Tokyo weekend. It will have been a year since my last stay in Tokyo. Passing through the airports doesn't count.

AAAHHHH TOKYO!!!!

Also, I climbed a hella high mountain. My legs fell off for days. Here's a couple of pictures:

I communed with nature. Check that off the list.

Is this a trap?

One of my English teachers came up to me just a few minutes ago to confirm lesson plans for our class, and inform me of a slight schedule change. Due to the schedule change, she will be unable to come to class, and therefore would like me to teach the class by myself. This has happened before, and while it is a little nerve-wracking I've gotten by.

Then she says, "I haven't taught them the meaning of the target sentences in Japanese. Is it okay if you do it?"

Sooooo.............ummmm. That's a compliment, right?

Kinda shakin' in my knickers over here.

Rock my Osaka

Just returned to work from a whirlwind three-day weekend in Osaka, and just so y'all know I can in fact shop for three days straight. I know you were worried about that, but it's okay. It all worked out. I was even under budget! (note: setting your budget at a really high number, say for example more than you make in a paycheck, means you are ALWAYS under budget. Everybody wins!)

I went to a concert for a Japanese idol group with tens of thousands of Japanese people, and I was one of three males there. Whatever, those guys are nice looking. And when they first appeared on stage, each of them was wearing a sequined jacket that looked like a cross between a marching band drum major jacket and a pimp coat. They were each wearing a different color coat and the colors represented were red, blue, green, yellow, purple, and pink. Together they made a pretty rainbow, so I feel like I have a shot with at least one of them.

I also went to a small Mexican fiesta that was being put on at the Umeda Sky Building. Turns out there was actually a Michael Jackson Neverland exhibit there too, and people were saying to me "Oh! You must be here to see the Michael Jackson exhibition!" And I was all, "Nope, I'm here for the tacos." Then the sounds of mariachis echoed around the plaza, and I disengaged with "Excuse me, but I think I hear my heritage calling. I'm going to have to take this." There were tacos, and they were goooooood. There were allegedly real Mexicans too, and they were asking confused Japanese people if they wanted "uno taco o dos tacos?" I got all up in that and practically yelled "CATORCE. DAME CATORCE TACOS POR FAVOR!" (excuse the omitted accent marks). The Japanese people gracefully looked away from me and my crazy taco face.

It was a fun weekend, and I was rather surprised to find myself at work this morning. Also, even though there is now occaisionally torrential rain, it's still really hot. The seasons are a bit confused here. We broke the world. :-/

On a happier note, Thursday is another holiday so I have the day off. Thanks, Autumnal Equinox!

Whatever works

I just realized last night that I have inadvertanly memorized all of the train stops between my city and the next city over. Sometimes, I say them in order over and over again as a kind of mantra. I like to think of it as a way to focus my mind, or steady me after a rough day, or even as a charm to improve my luck for a short time. Not sure how it's really working out, but if belief is power...

Tottori
Koyama
Tottoridaigakumae
Suetsune
Hogi
Hamamura
Aoya
Tomari
Matsuzaki
Kurayoshi

P.S. We had a typhoon today. It wasn't bad enough to cancel school. Boooooo.

A smattering of update

I have a feeling that this update will turn out a bit disjointed, and I'm okay with that.

♠ I am still not a morning person. Jetlag is the only way I can make it to work on-time without rushing. Apparently.

♠ I really want a mocha right now. (It's morning-time in Japan, and I'm feeling a bit sluggish)

♠ A friend and I broke up with our Japanese teacher. She raised the cost of our lessons for no particular reason, so we told her we wanted to see other people. She may backpedal and lower the price again, in which case I may consider going back to her.

♠ Following the break-up and because we were irritated at the sudden increase of price, we went in search of other activities to do in our city. Consequently, I will be joining a hip-hop locking class on Sunday evening with my friend and the Chinese ALT that works at my school. Pop, drop, and lock it.

♠ I have a student that I call Hip-hop Boy because he listens to a lot of hip-hop in English. He sometimes shouts out in the middle of class "Put yo hands up!" and other charming things.

♠ Hip-hop Boy is recently mispronouncing many English swear words. I assume he learned them from that American hip-hop the kids are all into these days and he most certainly won't be getting a CD with more hip-hop on it from me sometime later this week. What. Don't look at me like that. Anyway, I made a deal with him that if he got a high score on his next English test in my class, I would teach him the correct pronunciation. Currently, he is walking around saying "You sick!" and "Sick my dick!"

♠ Yesterday, one of my students told me that he was a Viking King. Last Friday, one of my students told me that she is in love with my 50 year old married Japanese English teacher because he looks like Buddha. And I also learned from a couple of the baseball players that you can slangily refer to breasts as "poing!"

♠ Still waiting for that mocha.